[Header] Format=ML Description=Elephant jokes: Default1=xxx Default2=yyy [Data] What kind of elephants live at the North Pole? Cold ones. What is convenient and weighs 20,000 pounds? An elephant six-pack. What's the difference between an Indian elephant and an African elephant? About three thousand miles What's the difference between an elephant and a piece of paper? You can't make a paper airplane out of an elephant. What do you get if you cross an elephant with a kangaroo? Big holes all over Australia. Why do elephants have cracks between their toes? For carrying their library cards. What is grey, has large wings, a long nose, and gives money to elephants? The Tusk Fairy. Where do elephants with skincare problems go? Pachydermatologists. Why didn't the elephant cross the street? Because it saw the zebra crossing. What would you get if Batman and Robin were run over by a herd of stampeding elephants? Flatman and Ribbon. What's the difference between an elephant and peanut butter? An elephant doesn't stick to the roof of your mouth. What do you call an elephant with a machine gun? Sir. What's grey and not there? No elephants. Why do elephants lay on their backs? To trip low flying canaries. How do you catch an elephant? Hide in the grass and make a noise like a peanut. How do you get an elephant on top of an cherry tree? Stand her on an cherry and wait fifty years. How do you get an elephant into a matchbox? Take out all the matches first. What goes "clomp, clomp, clomp, squish, clomp, clomp, clomp, squish"? An elephant with a wet tennis shoe. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Look, this is an ELEPHANT jokes site. If you want to know about woodchucks, go somewhere else. Why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chicken's day off. What was the elephant doing on the motorway? About 5 mph. What do you give a seasick elephant? Lots of room. How can you tell the difference between a grape and an elephant if you're color blind? Dance on it for a while. If you don't get any wine, it's an elephant. What do you get if you take an elephant into the city? Free parking. What do you call two elephants on a bicycle? Optimistic! What do you get if you take an elephant into work? Sole use of the elevator. Why do elephants wear sandals? So they don't sink into the sand. Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant? A: With a blue elephants gun, of course! Q: How do you shoot a red elephant? A: Hold his nose until he turns blue, then shoot him with a blue elephants gun! Q: How do you shoot a green elephant? A: Tell him dirty jokes until he turns red, then hold his nose 'til he turns blue and then shoot him with a blue elephants gun! Q: How do you get an elephant into a telephone booth? A: Open the door. Q: How do you know when there is an elephant in the bath with you? A: You can smell the peanuts on his breath. How can you tell when an elephant is getting ready to charge? He asks if you accept Visa. Why do elephants have wrinkles? Ever tried to iron an elephant? Why are elephants large, lumpy, and grey? Because if they were small, round, and white, they'd be asprins. What sound do you get when you drop an elephant down a mineshaft? A-flat minor. Where do baby elephants come from? REALLY BIG storks.